It’s not always easy giving others your kindness and patience when they’re not giving you theirs, but it’s not at all impossible to do, either. In this blog, I want to share a few tips on how to give your best when you find others giving you the worst version of themselves.
As society continues to “modernize” it will also continue to provide us with many distractions. The many distractions that we endure on a regular basis will cause, over time, a lack of focus as well as anxieties which eventually leads to short tempers. But we do have a choice. We can either always stay plugged into the world’s chatterbox, or unplug every chance we get to use the quiet time for self-reflection.
Since I’ve written before about “thoughts becoming things” and also how huge of a role emotions play in this process, I’m not going to elaborate on this topic in great detail here. However, I do wish to stress the importance of at least understanding this basic concept. Thoughts, along with emotions, do create everything that is experienced. There is nothing that is experienced by us without our magnetizing or attracting the thing/experience into our vortex or electromagnetic field. So, whatever it is that you are experiencing right now whether you perceive it to be good or bad, understand that you’ve attracted the experience by your constant thoughts (beliefs) and emotions (fear/allowance) that you are projecting out into the world.
If someone is giving me their worst (their yelling and contentious behavior, as well as their lying and deceit), there is a vibration that I am resonating on that is lining up with the same slow, dense frequency the other person is also choosing to emit. It really is just that simple. No, I may not be thinking lies and deceit but I may frequently be worried, angry, or sad about something. These thoughts and emotions, when practiced on a regular basis, will ultimately place me in the vicinity of experiences emitted from others with similar thoughts and emotions. When thoughts and emotions become chronically warped due to excessive fear-based thinking such as worry, guilt, and insecurity, the experiences to be had will have no choice but to mirror the incessantly warped belief system I am choosing to practice on a daily basis.
Coming to terms with the idea that I can choose what I experience by what I choose to think and feel, empowers me because I know that if I am not readily enjoying my experience I can change it as easily as changing my thoughts. Old, stubborn beliefs and practices are often hard to break, no doubt, but with focused intention, old patterns begin to fall away with new and healthy ones taking their place.
How To Give Your Best In Any Situation
To give your best when others give their worst will be a challenge at first. Hopefully by making a few adjustments to your perception, readily presenting the highest version of yourself in any situation, over time, will become a lot easier.
Two groups of people exist in this world, and they are:
- Those who are aware of their potential to create their own lives, and
- Those who believe that life is happening to them.
People who are aware of their potential to create are people who make life happen. These people are not necessarily those who society would label the “go-getters” of this world but are the people who truly understand the workings of how the inner world operates. These people know who they are, they are always aware that they have choices, and these are the people who have learned one of the most valuable lessons of all – how to stop taking life so personally,
People who believe that life is happening to them often fail to see that choices are always available to them in every situation. Usually, they’ll have a “victim mentality” and tend to blame others for their unwanted experiences. Rising above the “tit for tat” mode to reach for a higher way of being can be extremely difficult when a person is operating from this mode of thinking, but there’s always a possibility for change.
When a person is ready to make that leap from victim to victor, here are just a few practical tips that I use myself to rise to the occasion of giving my best when someone has chosen to give their absolute worst.
Tips On How To Give Your Best
In Any Situation
Tip #1: To Thy Own Self Be True
When I made a promise to always be true to myself years ago, I found myself falling short of that promise a lot. In the beginning, I had vowed to stay the course of my dreams but often found myself off my path for want of trying to please someone else. As I began to notice my stagnating life, I knew I had to change. Eventually, I realized why it was so easy for me to get off course. It was because I really didn’t know who I was and what I really wanted.
Knowing who I am is crucial in knowing what I want in life. I know now that I am an inquisitive person and I like learning new things. So, I try to be very aware of the situations I put myself in. Whether it’s in a relationship or a job, if I can’t ask questions and I’m not permitted to grow in it then I know that it’s not for me and I’ll have to move on.
I also know that I am a peaceful person and I’d rather solve things in a peaceful fashion. If I’m then in a situation where I know that the other party is not wanting what I want, do I continue ignoring who I am and what I want? To give your best in every situation that you may find yourself in, ask yourself these two important questions. Who am I really? And, what do I really want?
Tip #2: Know That You Always Have A Choice
One of my pet-peeves in life is when people claim they don’t have a choice. There is one thing about life and that is Life will never ask to be lived without presenting a plethora of experiences to choose from. We may not be aware of the choices available to us but the choices, however, are always available in any given situation.
“What of the child born with a disability? What choice does she have?” Even in this situation, the choice is clear. The child can either choose to live with the disability with dignity and grace or choose to fight it every single day for the rest of his or her life. If we dare begin to look at things differently, the soul may have chosen the disabled body to understand life on a deeper level. One of my favorite authors once said something that has continued to stay with me even until now:
“If you don’t like it, change it. If you can’t change it then change your attitude about it.” – Maya Angelou
If I’m in a hostile situation where my ego is being threatened, I need to know that I do have a choice of whether to continue trying to protect my ego or understand that my ego does not need protection. I have a choice to either walk away from the hostile situation or continue feeding the flame until the situation evolves to a point where I now need to protect my physical body. To give your best which would you decide?
Tip#3: Don’t Take Life So Personal
This tip is a lot more difficult to implement than the others. If you haven’t yet learned how to detach from your experiences, you will find yourself still subject to being tossed to and fro emotionally. When we fully understand that our soul’s (sole) purpose is to expand from the contrast that arises, we will see that every experience, individually and collectively experienced, is created by us and for us.
Again, our beliefs and emotions create everything that is experienced in our reality. The contrast that is a result of our creations is to be the gauge we are to use to tweak our reality(s) to our liking. If you want to be happy, never wait for anyone to come on the scene to make you happy. You have to start being happy. When your focus becomes being happy no matter where you go then you’ll easily begin to share that happiness everywhere you go.
When you are truly happy, the rude person who flips you off because he doesn’t like the way you drive won’t set you off. When you are in your happy place more than not you no longer see the behavior of others, when directed toward you, as something to be taken personally. You see it for what it truly is. They’re just simply not happy.