If you are like most people, being told to put yourself first may cause you to feel a bit uncomfortable. After all, putting yourself first is, well…selfish? But let’s be honest with ourselves by asking this one question. Am I here for someone else’s happiness, or for my happiness?
Since it is virtually impossible to experience life from other’s experiences, from whose experiences can you live from? You are your own best advocate. If you won’t put yourself first in your own life, who will?
Have you ever heard of Unworthiness Syndrome? No? Well, neither have I but I’m certain it exists and many of us are suffering and have suffered from it for ages. Unworthiness Syndrome is a disorder that causes a person to see him or herself as not adequate or deserving of happiness. This disorder causes those inflicted to put their life on hold for the sake of others. It’s a counterproductive way of living, absolutely. And the majority of humans on this planet thinks that this is how life is supposed to be lived. Many of us have lived this way for so long that we wouldn’t even know how to begin changing this mindset. Below, however, are just a few helpful tips on how you can put yourself first and be ok.
Tip#1: Start by first telling yourself that I can be of no help to anyone until I’ve first helped myself. This statement is especially important for those who have other people depending on them for their care. Making sure that you operate from full capacity at all times will help prevent anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, and burnout. To give anything to anyone, you must first have it to give. Otherwise, you’re just performing empty gestures out of obligation, and that’s never a productive way to live nor is it healthy.
Tip#2: Stop agreeing to do things for others when you really don’t want to. Make it a practicing habit to tell people the truth of how you feel when it comes to doing things for others. If you’re asked to do a favor and you really don’t want to, say “no”. It really is as simple as that. You are not obligated to make another’s life any less complicated. Saying “yes” when you want to say “no” will not prove anything. It will only make you feel resentful and unworthy.
Tip#3: Drop the need to be liked. Changing this habit is a lot harder than the others, but it is definitely crucial that it be applied. As you’re doing so, become more aware of your emotions by honoring your feelings when they surface. To honor your feelings means to NOT disregard them when they arise. Being more aware of your feelings doesn’t mean you react to them. It means you see them for what they are and accept them with no apology. Realize that you are the center of your world, and when you and so many others begin to operate from this self-centered mindset, the idea of selfishness as taboo will soon become a thing of the past. To some it may seem selfish to be self-centered, but you can put yourself first and really be ok.
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